2020 One Page Dungeon Contest: Part 2 of My Comments & Scoring of the Winning Entries

In my continuing reviews and comments of the entries for the 2020 One Page Dungeon Contest, I'll be covering the next 10 top-scoring entries. My comments on the first group of 10 top-scoring entries (#1 - #6, but including 10 total entries due to scoring ties) is here. 

If you're interested in the 2021 contest, note that the organizer has let the judges know that some people have already begun submitting entries even though the contest hasn't been officially announced yet, so you'll want to get working on your entry! You can check out the One Page Dungeon Contest tag here on my blog to find my notes and comments on the past contests, including a popular post in which I interviewed the other judges during my first year judging to ask them what qualities they were looking for in an entry. A good overview of my process and some notes on things you can do to improve your score can be found in this post. 

As always, if you entered in 2020 and haven't seen me comment yet on your entry and want to know my thoughts, drop a comment below or catch me on social media - my Facebook, Twitter, and MeWe profiles are all linked in the right-hand navigation bar. 

With that, here are my comments on the next group of 2020 entries. 

A City of Philosophers with Clubs
Author: Khelren
Official Score: #7 (tie)
My Score: #4

• I gave this entry perfect scores for Characters, Grammar/Spelling, and "Other" and a near-perfect score for Layout
• I scored it above-average for Premise and Usefulness, and average for the Map
• This really is a fun a creative adventure, and clearly the other judges agreed based on its final score
• In my notes, I wrote "Fantastic presentation, and very creative and evocative names of everything (factions, specific locations, etc.). Tons of creative ideas to fire the imagination. The small city drawings are evocative but not as useful in actual play (would require prep work to have maps ready for each district). The green color stands out a bit too much - aesthetically it would have been better to go with another shade of blue." 
• That last point is a VERY minor quibble - note that I did give this entry a near-perfect score in Layout (which is the category that the color would affect) so it didn't really hurt them. It was more of just something I noted. 
• This is another entry that I made a note for myself to go back to for my own games that I run - I put a note about using the random tables for the city districts and factions

Old School Revival

Author: Steve Kilian

Official Score: #7 (tie)

My Score: #19

• Perfect scores from me for Map, Grammar/Spelling, and "Other"
• Above average and good scores for Layout and Usefulness
• Slightly below average for Premise and Characters
• My notes: "Another great entry with a really nice map and plenty of different encounter areas, random wandering monsters, clever twist on zombies with an almost science-fiction theme. Enough detail to run pretty easily at the table without a ton of prep." 
• This is another good example of how, as a judge, I had to start really picking nits in terms of scoring. This is a really great entry (it did score in my "Top 20" if you include ties, out of a total of 153 entries). But, as I went back for my second and third reviews, I had to start making some really tough calls. There's nothing wrong with the premise on this - it's a standard "Strange things are afoot, nobody has returned who has investigated" set-up. Some entries don't even bother to include this kind of stuff, which I think is helpful for a referee to quickly get a group of adventurers interested. The reason I graded this one "below average" is not that it's bad - it's just not as evocative as some other descriptions for premise ideas I saw this year. It's a small thing, but after my first round of judging when I realized that I had too many ties, I had to start making these kinds of tough calls. 

The Temple of Stone & Slime

Author: Steve Leske

Official Score: #7 (tie)

My Score: #32

• I gave this entry a perfect score for Spelling & Grammar
• I gave it a high score for "Other" and above-average for Premise, Layout, and Usefulness
• This one got an average score for Characters and a slightly below average score for Map, from me
• My notes: "Fun, humorous adventure for a nice break from traditional fantasy. Almost over-the-top with irreverence and goofiness. The different font sizes were an odd choice - would have been better to have more consistency." 
• Again, I liked this entry, just not as much as the other two judges did. That's a good example of why there is more than one judge, and more importantly, that we're each looking for different things when we are judging the entries. Each of us, while in broad strokes looking at at least some of the same criteria, apply those criteria differently. The only reason this one didn't score a little higher for me were the layout and the map. I loved the drawings and I think with just a few small tweaks, the layout score could have bumped this up a few points. 

Storm Season in Wyrm's End

Author: Gregor Belogour

Official Score: #8 (tie)

My Score: #5 (tie)

• I gave this a perfect score for Grammar/Spelling and "Other" and a near-perfect score for Characters
• I scored this good for Premise and above-average for Layout, Map, and Usefulness
• My notes: "Illustrations of NPCs and town map are really nice and help convey the atmosphere/theme. Nice gothic touches to the town, and good NPC descriptions to make it easy to roleplay them. A bit more detail on mechanics/stats would be nice, as would a mix of different types of encounters/challenges, but this is a good entry. Would require some work to run 'as is' at the table." 
• I was really taken by the aesthetics of this one, and I do like NPC descriptions that go beyond name/class but provide personality quirks to roleplay. 

The True Dungeon Is the Friends You Made Along the Way

Author: Thomas Manuel

Official Score: #8 (tie)

My Score: #66

• I gave this a perfect score for Grammar/Spelling and "Other" and average or above average for Layout and Usefulness
• In my notes I mentioned, "... one thing that's really useful in this is the list of random encounters - some creative stuff." 
• Again, in my personal notes for things to go back to for games I run, I reminded myself that this entry had some great random encounter tables that I can use
• Honestly, this is a fun concept and could make a nice break for a group that isn't looking for a campaign, or maybe as a fill-in for a night when one of the players doesn't show up at the least minute
• It's definitely unique and that was one of the reasons I gave is a perfect score for "Other"
• The two things that really brought the score down on this for me were the Layout and the Map - there's nothing wrong with the Layout, but, for me (not speaking for the other judges), I look at the constraints of the one-page format as a feature and I'm looking for entries to use that limitation in a creative and fun way to draw my attention and pull me in. The layout on this one, while completely serviceable, just didn't excite me that much. Also, an all-text entry is almost always going to get a lower score from me. Having something to break up blocks of text is always helpful for a one-page entry, whether it's illustrations, a map, or even just utilizing some design elements, especially when you consider that the judges are reviewing over 150 entries. I understand *why* a map wasn't included, given the premise/set-up (there are as many rooms as there are players), but that does that kind of limit the usefulness of this - if a GM decides to run this "on the fly" as a one-off for whatever reason, then he/she will need to find a suitable map once the number of players is known. 

The Trojan Pig

Author: Glynn Seal

Official Score: #9 (tie)

My Score: #5 (tie)

• From me, perfect scores for Layout, Grammar/Spelling, and "Other" and near-perfect for Premise
• A good score for Map and above-average for Usefulness
• Below average for Characters
• My notes: "A really strong entry. Some level guidelines and stats would help a lot toward running this at the table. But, great use of layout and a really nice map. Easy to run and comprehend, with an end-goal."
• Lots to like here, but one thing I appreciate is having a complete scenario with a set-up and an end, with a map, so all I have to do as the referee is look up or figure out some encounter stats. I like that the text is broken up so as a judge I'm not having to read a wall-of-text while judging. I liked the coloring/aesthetics and I also appreciate the creativity of the premise, as opposed to yet another haunted church or abandoned tomb.  

Operation All-Seeing Eye

Author: Jeremy DS Marshall

Official Score: #9 (tie)

My Score: #31 (tie)

• My scores: Near-perfect for Grammar/Spelling, and above average for everything else except Usefulness, which I rated as average
• My notes: "Creative set-up and a unique non-traditional setting/adventure (modern spy/espionage with fantasy twist). A scale for the map would be nice, as well as some kind of stats or info for running the NPCs and monsters." 
• Stats are always a difficult thing because they take up a lot of space, and in a one-page dungeon format, space is at a premium. I've said before that I don't really think stats are always 100% necessary, but it depends on the context. Can you say "there are two goblins here" or "1d10 zombies attack" without stats? Yes, I think you can, because most gamers, regardless of experience level, have a context for that. If you say, "3 heretical star wasp-people attack," I think you need to provide some context. What makes them heretical? What kind of attack does a wasp-person do? Even saying, they have "3HD, one reversed cleric spell, and a poison stinger" would help. Yes, an experienced referee can wing that on the fly, but an inexperienced one needs a bit of help. In this adventure, there are magic elements, so the assumption might be that you're running this using a fantasy RPG of some sort (there's a "magically awakened" creature, for example). Encounters are listed as things like "Hoverdrones with Light Machine Guns." Again, an experienced referee can handle this, but for a non-traditional adventure like this one, I think a little guidance on how to run a hoverdrone with a light machine gun would be helpful.   

The Infinite Tower of Irenic
Author: Larry Z. Pennyworth
Official Score: #9 (tie)
My Score: #31 (tie)

• My scores: Perfect scores for Grammar/Spelling and "Other" and good scores for Layout and Map
• I gave this one average for Premise and Usefulness and below average for Characters
• My notes: "A fun puzzle-solving mystery. Includes a random encounter table, but it's less inspired than the creativity shown in the rest of the adventure. No NPCs to interact with. The riddles are a clever idea, but many are very easy to figure out, especially if the characters know the list of things they are looking for."
• I love riddles in adventures and I made a note for myself that there were some included in this adventure so I could grab them to use in my own games
• There is a lot of creativity in this, and I did like the cut-out part. The font was a little small and I wonder if a slightly different layout would have enabled the text to be a bit larger and easier to read. 

Terror on the Arkham Express

Author: Eshan Mitra

Official Score: #10 (tie)

My Score: #6

• I gave this a perfect score in "Other" and near-perfect in Layout, Characters, and Grammar/Spelling
• Good score for Premise and above-average for Usefulness, and below average for Map
• My notes: "Nice job - a schedule of different events, a random table for the relics, short monster descriptions (a few stats or guidelines as to how strong would be nice), cute illustrations, and a clear goal. Easily could be run as a one or two-night adventure with just a bit of prep work. The train illustration is a bit lacking and there's no map. But overall good job with good use of layout - doesn't feel crowded and conveys enough info." 
• This is an example of an entry that, as a judge, when I first flip to this entry to judge it, I like to see, and it's because there is enough visually stimulating stuff on the page rather than being assaulted with a huge wall of text. This has illustrations, a couple of tables, blocks of text in organized colors, good use of bolded text, nice looking headers, and enough white-space to keep everything from looking crowded.   

Sanctum of the Dead

Author: Peter van der Merwe

Official Score: #10 (tie)

My Score: #30 (tie)

• Good scores for Layout and Grammar/Spelling, and above-average for Premise, Map, and Usefulness
• I did give this below-average scores for Characters and "Other"
• In my notes, I mentioned a few spelling and grammatical errors (such as incomplete sentences that interfere with comprehension, and "copses" instead of  "corpses" and "udead" instead of "undead") and that it was a good, serviceable, standard adventure
• Looking back on this one again, I do think that the initial spelling and grammatical errors put me off a bit. I do try to make allowances for non-native English speakers and you'll note above in my scores that I sometimes gave a "perfect" score for Spelling/Grammar even if there was one mistake. But, consistent mistakes do stick out to me, and I've suggested before asking a native English speaker friend to read and edit entries. It can be difficult - I realize that "copses" is a word, so it might not have been flagged in a word processing program, but "udead" certainly should have been flagged - here in Blogger, it's underlined in a squiggly red line each time I typed it, so it's easy to catch. 
• The map on this one is good, and I think with just a little editing its score from me would have gone up. As it is, the other judges clearly liked it. 

Congrats to all the winners! I'll continue posting my thoughts on the remaining winners over the coming weeks. 

As. as a reminder, you can grab a PDF of all 153 entries from 2020 here. 

Hanging: Home office (laptop)

Drinking: Tape water

Listening: "My Favorite Things, Pt. 1 - Single Version" by John Coltrane, from the album "My Favorite Things (Deluxe Edition)"